I'll be ready in 5 mins. is exactly the same as I'll be home in 5 mins.

Why does it take so long!!

That is do lame! I can't believe he broke up with you by CAVE PAINTING,

Getting Dumped digitally

It's a nice day, today. I want you to go outside, and play.

Go Outside and Play

5 Ways to wipe your butt, when this happens to you.

Where’s your God, Now?

Using profanity isn't very lady like, neither is your mustache.

Profanity isn’t very lady like.

WEED IS LEGAL IN MY HOUSE.

WEED IS LEGAL IN MY HOUSE.

When you can't find Mary Jane.

SpiderMan, Can’t find Mary Jane

Clever, Sperm, brings wine and flowers.

CLEVER

Avert your eyes, my little friend. I know where this is headed.

NOT FOR YOUR EYES

(NOW) Those were the best years of my life! (THEN) I'm so BORED

BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE

Our romance is over and I need to get on with my life. Will you marry me

Our romance is over

Let her go,. It's me you want.

Let her go!!

Hey Vegetarians, my food POOPs on your FOOD! You shittin me.

You Shittin ME!

Mario! You have to rescue the Princess! Fuck this!!

Super Mario Brother

Why is it that I always catch you goofing off!? That's easy!it's Because you walk so quite.

GOOFING OFF

Darling, Please give me the hair dryer.

DARLING

I think I'll name her sarah. I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, however you can still have Sarah4343 or Sarah_12.

NAME HER SARAH

If laughter is the best medicine, and marijuana makes you laugh, is marijuana the best medicine?

BEST MEDICINE

But, enough about me. Do you like Boats?

But, enough about me.

I hate it when people say you don't need weed to have fun, you don't need running shoes to run, but it F*#king helps.

You don’t need weed?

that moment when you know you found the right girl.

The right girl

If you kiss me, I'll turn into a handsome prince. I'd rather have a talking frog.

The Handsome Prince

Weekly coffee evolution. With a happy ending.

Coffee Evolution

I'm going to stay in, and get some work done. AAAAND I"M HIGH

AAAAND I”M HIGH

What's your name? F-off Loser. Sounds Exotic, I'm Paul

Sounds Exotic

It's cold as Balls!!

It’s cold as Balls!!

Naughty or Nice, stop judging me.

Naughty or Nice, stop judging me.

When you drop the WEED

When you drop the WEED

Marijuana, negative effects of smoking: You now have less marijuana.

NEGATIVE EFFECTS

What I think about when I'm at work

THINK ABOUT

I told myself I should stop drinking, but I'm not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.

STOP DRINKING

I'm tired of sh*t, not killing me, and only making me stronger.

MAKE ME STRONGER

There are two kinds of people in this world, those that smoke weed and those that should.

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE

I hate sex in the movies,.. Tried it once, the seat folded up, I spilled my drink, and the couple next to us was rude.

SEX AT THE MOVIES